For years I’ve been praying and asking God to help me understand the cross. I wanted to really get what bearing the weight of humanity’s mess and death looked like. It seems, that over the past 12 months God has decided to start letting me know.
I don’t mean to say that I absolutely, tick-that-off-the-checklist, ‘what’s next?’ understand the power and pain of the cross, because I think that knowledge would implode my tiny human brain. Instead, in my own small personal way the last year as helped me understand the consequences of a world that is separate from God – AKA sin. I have witnessed a close friend lose her brother and seen illness developing in another. I have met and been touched by two survivors of childhoods in war-torn countries. Even the experience of watching the opening scenes of Argo inflicted an experience of tight-chested grief.
All of this, together, one after the other, left me feeling completely overwhelmed by absolute chaos. I have struggled, I have cried I have been angry with the apparently irreversible state of humanity’s suffering.
And then came Holy Week. He was mocked, tortured and crucified like a criminal, but Jesus was never small. In fact, nailed to a cross, the size of Jesus Christ was colossal. A couple of weeks ago, I started making a list of all the things in my life, and the lives of people around me, that God is bigger than; God is bigger than grief, God is bigger than unemployment, God is bigger than cancer, God is bigger even than the global financial crisis. It was incredibly powerful to accept all of these things with pen and paper.
God has an unlimited capacity to reach into the chaos, and his wings are big enough to carry us and all of our chaos.
How big do you need God to be? He really is that big.